PRIDE and Parenting in 2025

Happy Pride Month!

June is national pride month, which marks the celebration and recognition of the LGBTQ community. As a family therapist, I often work with kids questioning their sexual or gender identity. We know being a kid in 2025 is tough! Feeling different because of who you are can make growing up that much harder. According to the 2023 Human Rights Campaign study on LGBTQ youth, around 11 years old is when LGBTQ kids realize they are something other than heterosexual/straight. This study also found that approximately 85% of kids realized they were not heterosexual/straight by age 13 or younger. 

We know that kids in elementary and middle school are discovering who they are. Growing up and discovering who you are is an exciting and terrifying journey. Being a kid is already a challenge when balancing school, family, friends, activities, and social media. Questioning your sexual or gender identity just adds to an already challenging time in kids' lives. As parents, we can do some things to help our child on their journey of self discovery.

Kids can celebrate PRIDE too!

When is it appropriate to talk to my kids about sexuality and gender?

The earlier the better! Like many other topics, it is beneficial to normalize conversations about sexuality and gender with your kids from an early age. Your job as parents is not to have all of the answers, but to help your child process through their feelings and questions about themselves and the world.

A couple of pro tips to remember. First, if you don't know the answer to your child's questions simply respond with “I don’t know”. Again, it's ok if you do not have all the answers. Model for your child that it is ok to say “I don't know” when you don't have an answer. This also promotes honesty and discourages kids from making up answers when they are asked questions. 

Second, answer the question your child asks without overcomplicating things. Young kids are often satisfied with a simple answer. Think of your toddler asking “why” to everything you say. A simple and straightforward answer is often all they need from you.

Third, keep your answers age and developmentally appropriate. You know your child best. Assess what you think they can understand and process and offer that level of information.

What is developmentally appropriate to discuss with my child?

All kids develop differently. Because of this, it is important to remember to assess your child's developmental age rather than their biological age when it comes to talking about subjects such as these. For example, children with a diagnosis such as ADHD tend to operate at a younger developmental age than their biological age and may need a different approach than a neurotypical child.

Welles is already a champion for human rights!

When speaking with kids below 5 years old, I recommend offering simple and concrete answers. If your daughter asks “Why does Jimmy wear a dress to school” you could simply answer “Anyone can wear dresses to school. Do you enjoy wearing dresses to school?”. If your child says yes, you could explain that maybe Jimmy also enjoys wearing dresses to school. It is helpful from an early age to create a sense of normalcy and acceptance around discussing these topics. 

When kids get older in the 6-10 year old range they grow in their curiosity about themselves and others. I encourage parents to provide more information to their kids around healthy boundaries with books such as What My Body Says Goes. We want to encourage our kids' normal and healthy curiosity during this stage. 

Once kids reach middle school and high school they are less likely to want to discuss sexuality and gender with their parents. This is normal! One of my favorite ideas to offer families of older kids is to create a "suggestion box” in your home. This is a place where your child can write parents notes about something they would like to discuss and place these in the box. I encourage kids to write on the note whether or not they want to discuss the note with their parents or if they simply wanted their parents to be aware of what they were thinking and feeling. Other ways to use this strategy is having your kids text you something that is hard to say rather than saying it out loud. Car rides, walks, or any activity that requires less direct eye contact is also a great time to have uncomfortable conversations with your kids and give them space to say the scary things out loud. 

When is it time to bring in a professional to help my child?

We are here for YOU

Like many other subjects, kids may need an outlet to talk about these personal topics other than their parents. Friendships are often a healthy place for kids to express themselves and build a sense of community. But of course, most teenagers' are also figuring out who they are alongside their friends. This is where it may be helpful to seek out a therapist to help your child process their feelings. 

Therapy should always be a place that is non judgemental and accepting of all. In particular, kids working through their sexual and gender identity need a safe space to process all the big feelings that come along with figuring out who you are. Therapists working with kids should always focus on being inclusive and accepting of who their clients are and where they are at in their journey of self discovery. 

At Nurturing Wellness we strive to create an environment where all kids feel safe, loved, and accepted. We are proud to support kids in discovering and loving who they are!